Blinking but not beeping....Did you catch that!

Well, life is just too short to not share all the stories! Just a few weeks ago, I was intensely, and I do mean INTENSELY, studying for finals. I decided I had been inside way too long, so I stepped out on the porch to sit and study! As I was flipping through my voice literature cards, I happened to look up and see that my car had suddenly started blinking rapidly at me.......!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!! I looked around furiously to see if someone had tried to break in! No good, it would have been beeping. (Have I mentioned before that my car is a beeper and not a honker-----so annoying). Well, anyway, it wasn't beeping....just blinking. Are you following me! Blinking not beeping! Next thought: Perhaps my keys fell off the table. No good! For one, the car was blinking, not beeping....Secondly, the keys were laying calmly on my bed. Ok......next thought: Maybe if I pushed the unlock button, it would stop. Didn't work So, while cautiously watching for someone to jump out at me, pepper spray in hand, I slowly walked to my car. It was still blinking (not beeping). I opened the door.....still blinking (not beeping). I sat down, turned on the car, and WHOA! No, it wasn't beeping.....but the windshield wipers and flashers were going nuts! First of all, I will admit my stupidity that I did not know how to turn off the stupid flashers. As I was about to pull out the car manual.....I happened to notice that my good friend, Miss Garmin, was not on my windshield. As I investigated further, I found her lying in my passenger seat. She had clearly been overtaken with a heat stroke from the 80 degree weather. But on her way down, she had hit the dashboard, hit the flashers (or whatever they are called--I just know they blink--but don't cause beeping), swiped my windshield wipers to on, and landed in the seat. After taking in the scene, I calmly hit the button to cut the blinking, readjusted the knob to settle down the windshield wipers, and placed Miss Garmin in a much cooler location. I then got out of my car, locked the key and walked back inside........And for those wondering, my car never did beep. It only does that at 6;30 in the morning when everyone is trying to sleep!

My Testimony: A time to reflect

Most professionals in my field would call the last 12 years of my life and my prayer for the future a waste of time, money, and talent. And I will admit that there was a time that I thought the same. There was a time that my love for music was so great that my value as a person, and even as a Christian, only went as far as my vocal success. You see, I am a person that lives with many fears. But more than my fear of running out of money, being lonely, or failing in life, my biggest fear was God giving me what my stubborn will wanted. Several years ago, I gave God this fear. Having the personality that He gave me, I let Him know that I may not always like what He knew I needed, but I specifically asked him to save me from myself no matter what. And true to His promises, He has done just that. The two truths from this week’s devotions are: God is always good because He is always up to something good in my life. And God is always great because He is in control of everything and He is trustworthy. I hope that as I share my heart with you tonight, you will see God's obvious direction in my life

Over the past several months, I have distinctly remembered a conversation with my undergrad voice professor from Bob Jones University. A sophomore voice major, I had just walked into his office and announced that I felt God directing me more towards a secular performing career. He very calmly verified with me that I "wanted to travel 52 weeks out of the year singing nearly 7 days of week for the rest of my life." And I very calmly looked back at him and answered "yes." That conversation led to tears as he shared his experiences the "real world" while doing doctoral work at IU. He just wanted me to know what I was headed for.

After finishing undergrad as a voice performance major, I was quite ready to move on to state education....or so I thought. My voice teacher wanted me to study at Converse College with the best voice teacher in the South. It was not until years later that I would come to understand why God led me back to BJU for my master's degree in Voice performance. Holding a full-ride scholarship from Converse in my hand, with tears and discouragement I accepted the GA position at BJU. I put my heart into the next two years--24 hours of practice a week on top of teaching and homework in order to not join the ranks of females returning to BJU merely to find a husband. I was all about career and education. Needless to say, God continues to work on my stubborn attitude.

During my master's work, I began to wonder if my choice of schools would hinder my future performing career, or so the professionals told me. I accepted this with some disappointment but also found that I enjoyed teaching, and loved my students. So naturally, doctoral work became a thought. Wanting something a bit different, I looked into Vocal Science and Pedagogy at the only two schools who offered it at the time. Colorado criticized my age and lack of experience in both performing and teaching. 23 year olds did not get doctorates. Florida, however, accepted me. I was once again, ready to go....or so I thought. But once again, God chose otherwise. I left BJU in tears, with nowhere to go but home. I struggled all summer, and was ready to take out a sizeable loan to put myself through doctoral school, when God moved again.

This time, he moved me to Chicago, where He allowed me to study professionally, perform, and start my own voice studio. He also started me thinking about a voice certification working with vocal disorders after having the opportunity to help a student and a preacher who had nearly ruined their speaking and singing voices. Those three years were not easy. My opera teacher more than let me know that my Christianity had to go if I expected to be successful in the professional performing arena. My love for music was so great that to be honest, there were times I wished my Christianity would just disappear. But it was during those years that I learned that my Christianity was not something I put on, it was who I was inside and out.

At the end of those three years, God miraculously provided a job that I had not been seeking in Wisconsin teaching college voice. I was offered a one year contract and had every intention of returning to my performing. However, it was there I found my nitch in teaching, and also completed a two summer certification in Boston working with vocal disorders. God very uniquely softened my heart to working with Christian young people. He showed me that success in life only happens when you are making a difference for eternity. It was a step of faith for me to commit my life to the Christian setting, rather than secular performing. But it is one I do not regret. During that year and a half, God also taught me the importance of biblical philosophy--both in my theology and in my music. My parents had just started attending Crosspointe when I moved to Wisconsin....Though I was just a name to him, I emailed Pastor Arrowood and asked if he would mind being my pastor. Following much counsel and prayer, I stepped out in faith and moved back to Indiana, wondering what God would do with this one. I did not understand why He would soften my heart to ministry and then take it away. Beginning October 2010, knowing I would be moving, I sent out job applications and applied to two schools offering doctorates in Voice Performance and Vocal Science/Rehabilitation. By February 2011 both auditions were done, and I had a stack of job rejections. But here are the miracles:

1. Remember my fear of money: I knew going into my auditions per advisors at both schools, that my accreditation status would most likely hinder the scholarship options. In addition there were not many Assistantships opened at either school this year. But God knew what I needed, and Ball State offered me a half assistantship and in the end, my out of state status from living in WI was waived. On top of that, they granted me a student award dropping a few more dollars off of my bill. Technically, I should not have received an assistantship, waiver, or the financial award. As I watched my bill drop every day online, it seemed as if God himself were paying it. Just 3 weeks before starting classes, God also provided a job though next summer that would help supplement my immediate living expenses. God also provided housing when my parents moved. A friend of the family wanted to help me out and would not charge me rent. She saw it as an investment into my education. God even had a moment of humor at Ball State's expense. In November I received an email from the bursar's office that by mistake they had neglected to charge me for one particular small graduate fee. They would not go back and ask for this fall's money, but I would see that fee on future semesters. To me, it wasn't a mistake......it was God.

2. Remember my fear of loneliness: I remember walking on campus the first day and literally feeling like I was the only Christian on campus. A school of over 22000 and I felt alone. I remember praying that God would send me a Christian friend. And that very day, in my class, I met a man and his wife here from a Bible college in Iowa. I also asked prayer for one of my voice students in SS. That week, God opened up an opportunity in conversation and I very bluntly asked her if she were a Christian. She was. And we had prayer right then.

3. Remember my fear of failure: First semester ended well with high marks. God even thru in a 2nd place State Competition award. And amazingly, so far He has seemed to give me favor with all my professors and classmates. The biblical work ethic I learned from home and college has spoken volumes in testimony to my unsaved professors. One girl told me I was one of her favorite people because I was always happy, but not in an annoying way---that has to be the joy of my salvation, as my family knows how artsy and moody I can be!

It has not been an easy road to walk. There are those things that I wish I could forget, and I am sure will haunt me the rest of my life. Ball State is known for its profanity, drinking, and homosexuality, and believe you me, when you are there, you are soaked with it. Being the Bob Jones Brat that I am, I was rather disturbed when my professor walked in on the first day of class in a pair of shorts. But I kept smiling. Then the language that followed as if it were normal teaching conversation......I stopped smiling! After this one semester, my personal profanity dictionary has multiplied in page numbers. And we laugh, but it is only funny until those words are the first to come to mind in the heat of the moment. The conversations that you have no choice but to be a part in class can be horrendous. Professors and students are constantly talking about the beer party the night before. Receiving safety emails because of an attempted armed robbery and car vandalism on campus keep me constantly looking over my shoulder as I walk from my car to the music building and back each day.

Having required classes on Sundays causing me to miss church was another harsh reality. The one hour drive to church when I can come, although hard, in the end is always worth it. I even began getting up earlier to have my devotions because of my crazy schedule. One morning, as I finished my Bible reading a little after 6 and went to exercise before work, I remember telling God that I was so tired I didn't know how much of the Bible was actually going in....but I was trusting that His Word would never return void! Another first I had. One of my classes was very anti-God. One class period a mocking comment was made concerning Christ's death on the cross. I have never experienced what I felt at that moment. Literal pain, as if it was hurting me because I felt Him hurting. I cannot describe to you the battle between depression caused by the depravity that I see every day and joy in remembering that had it not been for grace, thus would I have gone.

So why am I doing this? Well, my nephew and sister call me doc! It really is all about the doctor thing! But seriously, I love teaching college students. I even love teaching my Ball State students. It is neat how God works the unsaved into your heart. It is very weird to have these kids ask me for advice about performing in the real world! If God asked it of me, I would jump at the chance to teach in state education. But I cannot tell you how much I miss starting a voice lesson or class with prayer. I have had to catch myself many times---it isn't politically correct to talk about your religion, and we are told to avoid the subject. I would also love it if God called me to teach at a Christian University. We are losing these young people to modern Christianity and apathy, many of them believing that music doesn't matter and that theology and philosophy can relax in order to fit in and better their ministry. But I stand here to let them know, this is not a world they want to fit into. While state education is superior and I feel honored to have this experience, it is one that should be bathed with prayer and biblical preparation. I covet your prayers and support as I move forward these next 2 and a half years. I would not be attempting this degree if it were not for my God, my family, Bob Jones University, and my church! I could not have done this 5 years ago, and it is with God's grace that I am doing it now. Lord-willing I will be finished with my coursework May 2013 and my dissertation by May 2014, completing a degree in Voice Performance and Speech Language Pathology.

Halfway through the first semester of doctoral work!

Dear Friends and Family,

I had a few minutes before running to practice and opera rehearsal.....so I thought I would send a quick update!

Is Thanksgiving Break here yet? :) I must admit that I am very tired! But I am definitely sleeping at night.......it is not always enough.....but it gets me by. I continue to learn so much! And I continue to be amazed at all that is fitting in to place. I have one meeting to go concerning my secondary emphasis in speech pathology. This one class will determine my entire 90 hour plan, so please keep praying! That one class aside, I did have a fabulous meeting with the Speech Path department a couple of weeks ago. They approved my classes AND waived all of my pre-requisites because of my McClosky Certification! And, basically what they are developing is a Voice Pedagogy Secondary. It is quite neat to be the second person at BSU to maneuver through a plan of Voice Performance and Speech Pathology/Pedagogy. As it sits, I will be doing directed studies in Phonetics/Dialects, Voice and Resonance Disorders/Therapies, and Vocal Pedagogy. Added to that is an Internship in Diction. I am thoroughly excited! My voice teacher has agreed to a study in Vocal Pedagogy since I have had it on the master's level......and she plans to monitor all of my teaching and have me do advanced reading and research in the field of pedagogy!

Most of you should have received my email about my recital in April! This will be a traditional recital of Handel, Rossini, Mozart, Debussy, Gounod, and multiple 20th century composers. I feel very fortunate to receive 2 one hour voice lessons next Spring to prepare for this! My teacher already has me thinking about my lecture recital, which I hope to plan for Fall 2012, then another voice recital Spring 2013. I hope to have my coursework done by Spring 2013 and head right in to Dissertation mode my last year. Keep praying about that. The upcomig meeting will help in determining that. Some of my dissertation will actually be completed after this semester. My research professor has been very helpful in my project. We hope to tweak it after this semester, possibly submit it for publication, and begin planning my dissertation direction. I must admit, all of this just excites me!!!! It is a hard road to travel.....but one well worth it!

Those in my Sunday School Class may remember me praying for one of my students to be saved. In a conversation following her lesson, she made a comment and I just bluntly asked her if she were a Christian. Come to find out.....she was. We had a wonderful time of fellowship and PRAYER!. I almost started crying! I invited her to church.....so hopefully she and her family will come. Now you all have to pray for my theory class. They are very anti-God....and conversations have started arising that could lead to discussions on faith. I fear saying the wrong things or not saying anything at all.......but I am praying that God will give me the answers just when I need them.

It has been hard missing church services due to required classes on occasional Sundays. This, coupled with some minor work difficulties and long, tiring weeks, often leaves me feeling rather overwhelmed. But the message this past Sunday by our associate Pastor was quick to remind me that God is my strength.....and my attitude and focus determines my relationship with God. I have started getting up earlier in the mornings to have my devotions so that I can have some time alone, although short, with my Bible. Please continue to pray for strength, clarity of mind, and guidance. Pray for God's continued provision. He has not let me down thus far, and I have a feeling He does not intend to.

Shellie

The Beginning of the Journey

So I had a thought today! I should share all of my updates on my blog for anyone who read thems! Not that anyone reads my blog.....but just in case! And at least I will always have my own thoughts to reflect on!

Hello Friends! :)
Thought you might like to hear my recent update. Just yesterday I was working on some items for registration this fall. I have an appointment set up for next Tuesday to hopefully get a plan together, possibly get a class or two waived, and gain permission for any work God may provide outside of my BSU assistantship. In all the correspondence, I received an email that BSU had awarded me 2500 more dollars for my first year! I must say, God has a way of reminding us that He is still at work. To be honest, the thought that went through my mind was how weak my faith was.....sometimes we only get what we pray for! I remember in February, following my audition, I often prayed, "God, even half an assistantship would help." After getting that, and not finding work for the summer, I often pray/ed, "God could you provide a little more." Sometimes I felt selfish, other times, just plain helpless. But after yesterday, I literally wondered what God might have provided had I come to Him in Faith, nothing wavering, asking for my needs to be supplied for......Would He have shown me greater and mightier things than I could have imagined? Definitely food for thought! I did get what I asked for......but do I think so little of my God that I could not have asked for what He has promised to provide--that equal to the cattle on a thousand hills!


Anyway.....I do stand amazed! My parents and I often remind me that what God has ordered up, He will pay for......and He seems to be doing just that! :)

Shellie

Thoughts on the Beginning of Doctoral Work

Well, it has started.....and boy is it a full life! Part time work in town, then off to school in the afternoons. School includes an assistantship and classwork. Oh and did I mention the practice, study, research, and all that goes into the "school-thing." But I like it! Oh it is hard.....but very rewarding! Now, this is my lightest semester.....but I think I will still like it later.

I have already started work towards my dissertation in my first semester research class. It seems to be taking an interesting spin----could end up being on the value of the singing voice specialist, with an emphasis on the McClosky Technique! But there is time for that!

Overall, I like the classes, the school, and the professors. It is a different world over there......a hard and lonely one.....but at the same time, I do not feel at all empty inside. I enjoy sitting back, watching and listening....Don't know that I will ever figure them all out....but I don't feel like I have to.

I have some very talented students on top of all this. I love starting freshman! ;) Course, I barely look a day older than they do.....but they are so fun to work with! So out of it so far as school, discipline, and responsibility.....but I am hopeful that they will catch on soon!

Gotta run.....coursework calls!

Why God created brother-in-laws

I got in trouble this past Sunday......At church......By my Pastor......

Reason: "It was Jake!!!!"

Explanation: I had been sick for about two weeks....which meant no singing for me. So this past Sunday was the first time in several days that I had actually sung....and I was rather enjoying it. Now, let me explain that I really do try to "tone it down" when I am singing with people. While education is wonderful....it does have its disadvantages in the singing realm....You see, you never seem to blend in after you have received years of vocal training. So I can honestly say that I think I was singing WITH everyone and not ABOVE everyone.

But oh no. That wasn't good enough. As I shared the book with my sister, suddenly a voice shouted, "Can it....you're singing too loud." Yeah. It was my brother-in-law. And as if that wasn't enough, the next thing I knew, he was imitating my singing. Then he started sliding. Then he tried singing like an opera singer.

So of course my sister and I were trying very hard not to laugh while Jake didn't even split a grin.

Later that night.....my pastor walked up to me and said, "What was all the smurking this morning." All I could say was, "It was Jake." To which Pastor replied, "And what was he doing." And I said, "Singing." Which of course brought laughter.

But as if that was not enough.....Wednesday night after church, I walked out to get in my car....remember, Vlad the Vibe. And from several feet off, as plain as day, the windshield wiper was sticking straight out. It had all the markings of a Jake-fiasco. Someone walking buy kindly acknowledged Vlad, "I see that hand."

So as you read the evidence....it is clear to see that God created Brother-In-Laws as a mere excuse to irritate, infuriate, shall I dare say humiliate those barely belonging to the family through the right of marriage. Shocking! Sigh! And yet.....a bit of a Chuckle!

When did they get to be so funny!

Happenings of the week came to a head on Thursday! But we must start at the very beginning, which is always a very good place to start.

As you remember, my weekend came with a pat on the back to myself for being the cool Aunt.....You may also remember that we had Humorous Andrew, Helpful Esther, and Unhealthy Avery......

Unhealthy Avery got worse and blessed us all with an appendectomy! I mean, we go all out in this family......But do not fear....his recovery is going well.....he was eating ice cream by Monday night!

But the week progressed, as did the very toasty weather......Leading up to a pleasant Thursday at the zoo. Now, if you never think of me again, at least remember this about me when you hear my name: I LOVE to go to the zoo. It brings out the kid in me! There is something fascinating about those poor pinned up animals that feel as though they must perform for us lowly human beings in order to be noticed. They have no clue that we actually paid money to come see them, whether they were sleeping or doing jumping jacks!

Julen gets the award for daytime humor. From the moment we knocked on his door to the moment we stepped out of the car, he was screaming and clapping his hands. He knew where he was going....and the rest of us had better be on board.....or else! I do believe his favorite is the walrus.....he has this dog-like way of communicating with the big oaf.....He barks at it while it swims back and forth.....I am sure he will die of embarrassment someday at the pictures we capture! He was also thrilled to play on the playground slide.....coming down numerous times.........What joy there is in a piece of oversized plastic! Amazing.

I must say....the tigers were cool. The bats grossed me out! The penguins put on quite a show during feeding time......There was one hot shot who felt like he deserved all the food.....that was interesting.

Needless to say.....we were all pretty shot on the car ride home....I mean, looking at zoo animals just about does one in! But boy did the nephews pull out all the stops when we got home.....When did they get to be so funny! Avery does his best not to laugh due to a few incisions that remind him of his recent surgery......he has definitely put a new defintion to the term "silent laughter"--mouth hangs open immensely, slight tension in the neck muscles, air escaping in intervals, face contorted into a painful humorous state, no sound is emitted!

Oh yes, and then there was the spitting contest.........Avery's version: lips pursed, air compressed, spit flying. Andrew's comeback: mouth open, tongue wagging, air moving, spit flying.....

Oh wait.....then there was the back porch deck humor.....we heard all of the "your mom" jokes, plus a few blonde ones......Avery took out a piece of gum on the floor with his BB gun....Andrew gave his rendition of the seal trainer playing with the seal. Oh yes, and let us not forget the flyswatting contest.....

I thought last Friday was rough on the abs! Last night was even worse......my laugher is definitely picking up power! I am sure I am losing multiple calories in this humorous endeavor.

Did I also mention that I found out Avery has been playing with my Mace/Pepper spray.....apparently it colorful nature is orange......So beware all of you jailbirds....if you get hit with this stuff, you are marked for life!

Being a Cool Aunt

There are very few times that I get to have my nephews and niece all to myself. But I was the lucky one this past weekend! As we started toward Anderson, I found myself wondering what a 28 year old single girl did with three kids---2 teenage boys and one little girl. "BE NORMAL"...I told myself. Ok.....so I proceeded to do normal things.

We got home, and I let them do their things....Avery, who was not feeling well, went directly to the couch. Andrew went upstairs to check out the movies I had rented from the library. Esther stuck by my side, begging to help with dinner. How could I refuse!!!

So we puttered around the house for a few minutes.....then, with 2 out of the 3 begging for dinner....I proceeded to make us a simple, but winner of a meal--grilled chicken, steamed greenbeans, mac and cheese, and leftover corn and baked beans. It was a smorgousboard!

Andrew made the call to have dinner upstairs, Avery continued to sleep, and Esther continued to ask, "Now what can I do?"

So dinner was prepared slightly after 5......all ate while watching a Combat....then we went our separate ways to play. Avery watched movies, Andrew shot hoops, and Esther and I played volleyball and trampoline.

And boy did we bounce....I haven't laughed so hard in a long time! She sure wore me out! But I did recover in time for Avery to ask if we could all watch Madagascar's Escape to Africa. And yes....for the next hour and a half all three laughed and "sang"--I like to move it move!

Round two of movies found the kiddos insisting that I watch 4 episodes of Stargate. I agreed as long as Esther did not commentate. Then came the snacks. We each had our own popcorn, and they ate candy.

Midnight brought bed----and boy did we drop dead! Only to arise the next morning--me at 8, Esther at 9:30, Andrew at 10:30, and sickly Ave at 11:30. So from 9-12:30 I was fixing breakfast, or rather brunch, or rather lunch, or whatever it was for them.

But of course I cannot leave out the fascinating conversations. Esther wants to be a pediatrician. Oh, and just for the record...I will never have to watch another Stargate Episode.....Esther told me about each one. And what does one discuss with 2 teenage boys? Guns of course! And we did! :) For a whole hour. Then off to more movies and outside play.

By the time their mom got here at 2....I was worn out! :) But what a weekend worth having! :) I officially moved up to the cool aunt status.....And why is that? Well, I rented Madagascar and Air Force One......What can I say! Oh, and they each got 4 sodas between Friday and Saturday! :)

Time Zone Disaster

So I was in Wisconsin, as many of you know (that that oodles of you are reading my blog...but....). I traveled back through Chicago to sing at my former church, then hopped in the car to reach Indy by the 6:00 evening service. I had purposely left my car clock on Indiana time so that I could get to church somewhat on time. I was doing pretty good too! Made it by 6:30 and got the whole message.

I traveled home with my family. As usual, we sat down to watch a movie and the news--or something like that. I was surprised to find that I was not too tired when it was time to go to bed. I had a meeting with a Ball State Professor at 10:00 Monday morning. So I went to bed promptly in order to get plenty of rest for the early morning.

You know I couldn't figure out why dad was taking trash out at 5:30 that morning...nor why I did not hear mom leave at 8:15. Oh well! I did my thing--exercised, showered, and went down to enjoy breakfast and coffee at 8:45. As I sat chomping on my piece of toast, reality struck. The stove clock said 9:47. Then it hit me! I had once again forgotten to switch my alarm clock back to Indiana time.

ha ha ha......... :( Sigh...Panic...Pick up phone...Obsessively dial......

Needless to say, I was more than ready and "on time"---by Illinois and Wisconsin time. The professor laughed, and we rescheduled for Tuesday at 10:00. I did make that appointment, to be sure!

Why can't the world be on one time zone! It sure would solve a lot of problems, primarly tardiness and confusion.....not to mention lack of sleep when you are on the wrong receiving end of that time change!